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Weird Spaces pt. II

The constant drive to become better, elevate life & make major changes to who you are, without losing.... who you are.  I find myself in the house way more..  Unhappy with who I am you could say.. Like why go out into the world if I'm not the version of myself I want to be? I put out 3 songs, shot 2 videos towards the last half of the year.  Then after the holidays I'm like... yeah I'm not tryna be on screen or do things again until I've transformed me.  So what does that do? Slow momentum down.  I can hear some people saying "oh document that journey" man... no lol This journey of transformation is too personal.  Not only do I have to change what's on the outside but change what's on the inside Change my habits Look at my addictions Look at what I use for dopamine and literally decline, and rewire my brain to get that dopamine elsewhere..  I had a studio session last night with this really dope artist from NY.  Just creating music and being i...
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Weird Spaces pt.I

 Weird spaces. I almost bought a house in Tampa.  Well not really but, I went and did a private tour.  It was this beautiful mid century modern home with a pool. Gated community. It was perfect.  My job is throwing money at me to try and make me leave NJ. Something regarding corporate taxes..  For whatever reason the incentive is highest if I pick to go to Florida.  Which don't get me wrong.. It has it's upsides.  No income tax My parents would be an hour away My aunt & uncle about the same distance.. Nicer weather all year.. I get money to put towards a house that's forgiven over years.  Ownership right? a 3,000 square foot dream home vs. this 1,000 square foot apartment  But me and my family would leave everything we know here..  Social life would hit 0.. Would be a beautiful house to be even more bored and depressed in.. Money isn't everything.. I choose my friendships and love of the little community I do have over that.. I just ...
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Dropping Blogs like it's '08.

 I bought a journal.  That's for me. The daily wakeup & write, scribble, draw, get my emotions out.  This one.. This one's for just getting out all my thoughts better.  I notice since I type and am on the computer pretty much all day for work, I can do this.  I used to have a blog back in Idk, 2009 or so. I had a blogspot, then a tumblr. They're either in the internet abyss and I don't remember the link or the email, or knowing me I deleted them at some point with no remourse.  It's weird how I regret little things like that now. So many pieces of me, and my life are just a memory with nothing I can go back to, to relive them.  Be it old social media platforms, like instagrams and twitters I've had then deleted time and time again.. to old home movies of my music performances as a kid, or martial arts.. Those got lost when my first manager died and they threw everything in his apartment away.. He had all the tapes.  Shit I even had my parents ...
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